from Everyday Grace
Fingers poised above the keyboard, I search inside my mind for words to express what I am feeling. It helps to stay in the present moment and pay attention to the surroundings: the crackle and the warmth of the fire, the drip of the faucet in the kitchen and the soft whiteness that drapes the trees outside in the frozen world of winter.
I have reached what I have been told is the "meh" stage which means my heart no longer aches and I am not triggered by photos of my past; life with someone I thought I was going to grow old with. Meh, to me anyway, also means I no longer fret and stew and wonder what I did wrong. It means I have picked up my pieces and I am ready to move on. Meh means I am done with that drama.
Not to say that I am bored or unfeeling, or that I don't get lonely sometimes or annoyed and sharp in some of my communications, or that tears don't well up at odd moments because of a sad movie or the sweet sound of a grandchild who says, "I love you Grandma" or when I see photos of my grown-up sons and daughters who are such fine people with full lives of their own.
I am getting my priorities straight. Life is a miracle, meh and all.