Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Reflections in the Moment, Briefly

“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.” — Yousuf Karsh

It has been some time since I have posted. Life has been full and I have not written much aside from personal journaling.

In the fall of 2015 my husband of 10 years and I divorced. This was a huge challenge and experiencing the past two and a half years has made me a deeper more compassionate person. Stronger, too, when self-doubt threatened to crush me and I had to start over when I didn't know if I could make it through one day without emotionally falling apart.

In 2017 my mother moved into assisted living. This continues to be a test for me and my siblings, and certainly for my mother who struggles daily with advancing dementia. There is still that sweet woman that abides in her heart and mostly this is who she still is but nothing prepared us for the memory lapses, the confusion, the obsessive behaviors, and ultimately her inability to live alone. It is these things that lead us to have her move into an assisted living facility. It never crossed my mind that this would ever happen but it is for her health and safety. She does not understand why she is there, and she is not able to comprehend or retain our explanations so we love her in the moment.

in 2018 I moved, an occasion that was both a beginning and  closure; an opportunity to recreate my self and heal my heart. Once again. I thought that at the age of 68 I might be more settled, but this was not to be. Apparently, I am slated for more adventures.

There are so many levels of emotions within these changes and sometimes unwanted advice from people who don't understand and so freely offer their opinions about something they know very little about. This, too has made me a better person. There is so much that life teaches and the older I get the more learn the peace of mind that letting go of anger and resentment brings.

And so it goes.  I am most thankful for my loving and supporting family and my close friends who have helped me so much simply by being who they are.

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