Saturday, August 1, 2015

Change of Attitude

 If you don't like something, change it. 
If you can't change it, change your attitude

Maya Angelou

       I have noticed that the people with the most problems in their relationships are those that complain the loudest and blame others for their problems. This goes hand in hand with denial. Blame and denial are roadblocks for a healthy life.

      The only person I can change is me.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Poem by May Sarton

 I like having volumes of poems around the house to read in those quiet moments during the day. This one by May Sarton rings true at this particular phase of my life. Sometimes poetry is the only way to express how I am feeling, whether I am the poet or the reader.

Now I Become Myself
by May Sarton

Now I become myself. It's taken
Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
'Hurry, you will be dead before-'
(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!
The black shadow on the paper
Is my hand; the shadow of a word
As thought shapes the shaper
Falls heavy on the page, is heard.
All fuses now, falls into place
From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant.
As slowly as the ripening fruit
Fertile, detached, and always spent,
Falls but does not exhaust the root,
So all the poem is, can give,
Grows in me to become the song,
Made so and rooted by love.
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun! 

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Along the Way, Personal Journey to Enlightenment

“To bring about a paradigm shift in the culture that will change assumptions and attitudes, a critical number of us have to tell the stories of our personal revelations and transformations.”
Crossing to Avalon by Jean Shinoda Bolen

page 272

The Latin term,” lectura divina” means the daily search through reading for spiritual growth. My spiritual evolution and the journey I take with words are intertwined.  Over the years I have been guided along my path by reading and when I write from my own experience I gain insight and perspective. Like many seekers during the late 60’s and early 70’s I was curious about beliefs and religions other than what I had been taught as a child.  I read books by Alan Watts, Ram Dass, and the Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramanahsa Yogananda.  
My seven year marriage was a disaster, complicated by the physical abuse I suffered at the hands of my first husband who also, with the help of the courts, separated me from two of my children.  In 1974, now divorced, I joined a religious commune that was based on the New Testament of the Bible. During the first several years the Bible was the only book we were allowed to read. This wasn’t an issue for me at the time because I was busy taking care of my one remaining child and fulfilling my duties as a member of the community
The community was structured and focused on serving the whole. Within the group we had prayer meetings and meditation, but I was not fulfilled.  There was not much emphasis on the individual and at that point in my life developing my individuality was what I needed most. As the years passed I became more and more dissatisfied with the structure of the patriarchal mini culture.  I kept intensely self- revelatory journals and realized that it was time for me to claim my place in my life.   Thirsting for personal growth I turned to what I knew best and enrolled in a correspondence course in English composition through a university.  I didn’t have a computer or electricity in my home so I acquired a battery run word processor and set myself up in a little corner of the world, determined to carve out something that was my own.  Writing is a meditation. In time, I was able to go within, quiet my mind and open my heart to reflection, healing and discovery of my purpose.  “To thine own self be true” became my mantra.  This self-education was a huge step towards independent thought and the eventual separation from the group.

The first year of the course focused on basic writing skills. The second year I was required to choose a thesis so I chose The Sacred Feminine. I was unable to do online research so I made countless trips to the local library and chose books that had anything to do with women and spirituality.   Through this doorway I discovered a new reality; a world that resonated with my soul.

to be continued