Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Unlikely Friendship



I never would have imagined my lifeline would be given me by my ex husband’s new wife but life is puzzling that way. She and I met shortly after I had escaped my husband and gotten a divorce. My children were motherless, as he had retained custody of two of our kids and severed contact with me.

She and I didn’t hit it off right away. My role as the ex wife and “cult’ member, (for lack of a better word) and she as the new wife didn’t lend us many warm and fuzzy feelings, and the dynamics of the situation were quite intense and emotional.She did take on my children, and for that I am eternally grateful, and for several years of marriage seemed to have it together as far as I could tell. It and it wasn’t until she also left him that she and I began to bond and she understood why I had fled, as her marriage was as chaotic and abusive as mine. We began to write letters and remained pen pals for years. We have since visited in person with each other and stay connected to this day.


The turning point for my salvation, my lifeline, was when Pamela sent me a book about battered women and suggested that I attend a support group. I read that book and my life was profoundly changed. I realized that I was not alone and that there were so many other women that had suffered as I had. It was such a relief to put a name on the crime of battering. The healing journey took years and years but that was a first step and I wouldn’t have taken if it weren’t for Pamela.
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